| Clowns are neato, clowns are fun | 
| Clowns are loved by everyone | 
| Cops n' commies, even fags | 
| Everybody loves a gag | 
| Clowns everywhere are freakin' out | 
| In parades they scream n' shout | 
| They’re sad as hell, and they’re singin' the blues | 
| Cause no one laughs at their great big shoes | 
| Here’s some clowns we really love: | 
| Bozo, Scoopy, Rusty Nails | 
| And here’s a clown we really hate: | 
| Ronald McDonald | 
| You see he’s only in it for the burgers | 
| And that’s not very funny | 
| I saw a clown in the mall today | 
| My brother cried and he ran away | 
| They get no respect, aren’t served in bars | 
| No matter how many friends they can fit in their cars | 
| The other day 17 of my friends and me | 
| Was drivin' around in the clown mobile towin' the ferris wheel in the back | 
| And this cop pulls me over and says «Where ya goin' Bozo?» | 
| I said, «I ain’t Bozo. | 
| I sure wish I was, though. | 
| The man’s a friggin' genius.» | 
| Clowns are forced to take jobs across the nation | 
| Below the level of their education | 
| It’s hard as hell to make ends meet | 
| With a painted face and gigantic feet | 
| I was sittin' in a bar havin' a drink | 
| And this clown walks in and says | 
| «Bartender, give me a tree fort.» | 
| The bartender looks at him and says, | 
| «What's in a tree fort?» | 
| Clown says | 
| «Playboy books and cigars.» | 
| Last verse same as the first | 
| Acapulco version, ten times worse |