| One, two |
| One, two, three |
| She’s a latter day saint |
| But she’s a Saturday sinner |
| Suicide Sunday dessert for weekends drinking her dinner |
| The worry keeps her slender |
| The pills keep her awake |
| Her man can’t make her happy but he helps to still the shakes |
| Met her boyfriend at the bar, said he’d stick to beer |
| Said I could keep the cocktails, martinis taste like tears |
| I asked if he would leave her |
| What with all the grief |
| He passed the pitcher back to me and asked what I believe |
| I said virginity is a childhood disease |
| And these days it seems have interest for the addict thief |
| Patience for the epigrammatic, but brief |
| There’s only four ways to acquire |
| Anyone who says different is a salesman or a liar |
| You can find it, earn it, make it or steal it |
| I haven’t found a single way to keep it |
| 'Cause you can leash it, it’ll leave |
| You can teach it to stay and it’ll leave |
| You can case and display it, decay and waste it away |
| And day by day it leaves you by degrees |
| He put his hand on my knee, sometimes that’s what it takes |
| He doesn’t make me happy but he helps to still the shakes |
| Put all your words away |
| For all the noise you make |
| You were always safe |
| You were always |
| You were always |
| You were always safe |
| With me |
| Safe in sleep |
| Congratulations to the dry eyes |
| Consolations to the nice guys |
| And condensation’s on the underside of everything I touch |
| I seem to chill the objects that I meant so much to love |
| A man can keep you sane five-hundred-and-fifty days |
| A year and a half, give or take an afternoon |
| We should have sooner left the train but we made it |
| I guess that makes us the survivors |
| Tumor blooming in my brain, I hate it |
| But it makes the colors brighter |
| So fight the anesthesia, spite the man that leaves you |
| Like the sad disease you contracted while sitting boring and bored |
| Come back with the lab report |
| Your nervous disorder |
| Only the rich are afforded |
| Only the rich are afforded |
| Only the rich are afforded |
| Only the rich are afforded |
| Put all your words away |
| For all the noise you make |
| You were always safe |
| You were always |
| You were always |
| You were always safe |
| With me |
| Safe in sleep |