| Up the river without a raft
 | 
| You’ve done your worst with your better half
 | 
| You better think of something fast
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| You better make her laugh
 | 
| Well, it’s after hours at the break of dawn
 | 
| You’ve made your bed all day long
 | 
| I must be doing something wrong
 | 
| Are those tears of joy, or are you just cryin'?
 | 
| Just when you think you’ve had enough
 | 
| And you’re tired of tryin' to suck it up
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| I know you can make her laugh
 | 
| Like a child on a carnival ride
 | 
| Laugh the mascara right off her eyes
 | 
| As she’s walkin' away, just give it one more try
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| I know you can make her laugh
 | 
| Well, you can leave when you want
 | 
| But please leave us laughing
 | 
| Leave us wondering what the fuck just happened
 | 
| Your ironic cynical sarcastic sense of humor’s got me wondering,
 | 
| if I ever had a chance
 | 
| You know you can’t make her love you
 | 
| But you sure can make her cry
 | 
| You can’t make her make up her mind
 | 
| Just when you think you’ve had enough
 | 
| And you’re tired of tryin' to suck it up
 | 
| I know you can make her laugh
 | 
| Like a child on a carnival ride
 | 
| Laugh the mascara right off her eyes
 | 
| As she’s walking away, give it one more try
 | 
| I know you can make her laugh
 | 
| I’m bombin' tonight
 | 
| Crickets fill the sky
 | 
| I’m dying on the vine
 | 
| When I see you smile again
 | 
| Well, I can make her laugh
 | 
| Now, I’m first in line for the last word now
 | 
| None of the sadness or madness has yet to die down
 | 
| There’s nothing to do but laugh out loud
 | 
| It was all just a joke anyhow
 | 
| So make her laugh
 | 
| Like a child on a carnival ride
 | 
| Laugh the mascara right off her eyes
 | 
| As she’s walking away, just give it one more try
 | 
| I know you can make her laugh
 | 
| Make her laugh
 | 
| I know you can make her laugh |