| I was makin' my rounds at Splashytown
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| Y’know, the indoor waterpark
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| Shuttin' down the endless waves
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| Dead of night pitch dark
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| Just to clarify, I’m a security guard, not a lifeguard who stayed too late
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| My weapon is a pool noodle
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| A glint of light pierced the night
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| I saw some popcorn bro
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| Scooped it up and tossed it back
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| It was teeth, I don’t know
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| It was teeth, I don’t know
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| It was teeth I don’t knooooooow (Just to clarify, I did know they were teeth,
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| I just didn’t know who’s teeth they were)
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| Who left these teeth?
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| Who needs them now?
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| Who’s sitting on the couch
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| Gumming on some crunchy chow
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| Ooh!
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| Me, I’m eating peanut brittle, and I’m fed up
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| You see, I lost my teeth earlier today in a fight at a water park
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| Called Splashytown
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| I’m gonna break into Splashytown tonight, right now
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| I’m reaching the slide that runs outside
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| I’m gumming an entrance hole
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| Reaching the spot where my teeth got knocked
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| To get the teeth that I know
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| Teeth that he knows
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| Teeth that he knows!
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| What was that? | 
| Felt like a pool noodle!
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| It was a pool noodle
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| I’m the security guard, and that’s my weapon
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| Well I was just lookin' for my teeth, man
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| You’re looking for teeth?
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| Yeah, I lost 'em here in a battle with a man earlier today in this vicinity
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| That’s an amazing coincidence, I recently found some teeth that I did not know
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| Lemme see 'em
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| Oh, yep, they’re mine
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| He left these teeth
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| He’s got them now
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| No one’s sitting on the couch
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| Gumming on some crunchy chow
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| Ooh!
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| By the way, you know anything about a hole over in the slide?
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| Yeah, I gummed my way in
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| I’ll also be leaving that way, you might wanna patch that up |