Theodore Bikel:
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This, as you might have guessed, is the end of the movie. |
The entire cast is
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assembled here at the Centerville Recreational Facility to bid farewell to you,
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and to express thanks for your attendance at this theater. |
This might seem old
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fashioned to some of you, but I’d like to join in on this song. |
It’s the kind
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of a sentimental song that you get at the end of a movie, it’s the kind of a
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song that people might sing to let you in the audience know that we really like
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you and care about you, yeah. |
.. Understand how hard it is to laugh these
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days, with all the terrible problems in the world!
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Lord, have mercy on the people in England
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For the terrible food these people must eat
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(Baaahhh. .. excuse me a minute)
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And may the Lord have mercy on the fate of this movie
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And God bless the mind of the man in the street
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Help all the rednecks and the flatfoot policemen
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Through the terrible functions they all must perform
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God help the winos, the junkies, and the weirdos
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And every poor soul who’s adrift in the storm
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Help everybody, so they all get some action
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Some love on the weekend, some real satisfaction
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Phyllis Bryn-Julson:
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A room and a meal
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And a garbage disposal
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A lawn and a hose’ll
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Be strictly genteel
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Reach out your hand to the girl in the dog book
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The girl in the pig book, and the one with the horse
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Make sure they keep all those businessmen happy
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And the purple-lipped censors and the Germans of course
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Help everybody, so they all get some action
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Some love on the weekend, some real satisfaction
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A Swedish apparatus
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With a hood and a bludgeon
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With a microwave oven
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«Honey, how do it feel?»
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Lord, have mercy on the hippies and faggots
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And the dykes and the weird little children they grow
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Help the black man
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Help the poor man
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Help the milk man
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Help the door man
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Help the lonely, neglected old farts that I know
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Theodore Bikel:
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It’s been swell havin' you with us tonight, folks!
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Mark:
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But, don’t leave the theater yet, cause there’s still more to come,
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but before we go on, I want to introduce to you my friend and musical
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associate, Howard Kaylan, who’s going to give us all a final closing
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benediction
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They’re gonna clear out the studio
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They’re gonna tear down all the.
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They’re gonna whip down all the.
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They’re gonna sweep out all the.
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They’re gonna pay off all the.
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(Oh, yeah!)
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And then.
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And then.
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And then.
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And then.
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Hey hey hey, everybody in the orchestra and the chorus
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Talkin' 'bout every one of our lovely and talented dancers
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Talkin' 'bout the light bulb men
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Camera men
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The make-up men
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(The fake-up men)
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Yeah, the rake-up men
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(Especially Herbie Cohen, yeah. . .)
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They’re all gonna rise up
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They’re gonna jump up
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I said jump up
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Talkin' 'bout jump right up and off the floor
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Jump right up and hit the door
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They’re all gonna rise up and jump off!
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They’re gonna ride on home
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They’re gonna ride on home
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They’re gonna ride on home
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They’re gonna ride on home
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And once again
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Take themselves
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Seriously, yeeeah!
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Two, three, four, seriously
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They’re all gonna go home (ye-hey!)
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Through the driving sleet and rain
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They’re all gonna go home
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Through the fog, through the dust
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Through the tropical fever and the blistering frost
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They’re all gonna go home
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And get out of it as they can be, baby
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And the same goes for me
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(The same goes for me)
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Oh, yeah!
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Oh, yeah!
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Oh, yeah!
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Oh, yeah!
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And each and every member of this rock oriented comedy group in his own special
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way
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Is gonna get out of it as he can be
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We all gonna get wasted
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We all gonna get twisted
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We all gonna get wasted
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We all gonna get twisted
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And I am definitely gonna get.
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REAMED
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Cause I’m such a lonely
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I’m such a lonely
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A lonely, lonely, talkin' 'bout a lonely guy!
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Oh, and I know tonight, I am definitely.
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I am positively.
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I just have to get.
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BENT, REAMED AND WASTED
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Jimmy Carl Black:
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A disaster area the size of Atlantic City, New Jersey!
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Howard:
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He’s making me do this, ladies and gentlemen. |
I wouldn’t do it if it weren’t
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for him. |
You noticed, all through this material, I’ve been glancing over toward
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my left? |
Well, I’ll tell you the reason for that, ladies and gentlemen.
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HE is over there. |
HE is over on the left. |
HE is the guy that is making me do
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all this shit. |
Right over there. |
Now all through this movie, every time we’ve
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been on stage, I’ve had to look over in that direction, right? |
You saw it. |
..
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you know. |
Well that’s cause HE’s over there. |
I’ve got to watch him for signs.
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He jumps up and down like a jackass. |
I can’t even believe the guy sometimes.
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But we gotta watch him. |
«After all,» we said, «it's Frank’s movie.
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«Now, we’re THE MOTHERS, but it’s still Frank’s movie. |
Let’s say it,
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he got to paid for it, he rented the studio, had all these cheesy sets built.
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.. it’s so moche! |
I can’t even stand it. |
.. He’s telling everybody,
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right now, right over there, to. |