| The simple men live the simple life in big log cabins |
| They’re best of friends with a simpleton and a horse called Dobbins |
| Their yards resound with the simple sound of blackbirds and robins |
| And their wives make simple samplers with thimbles and bobbins |
| We envy them, the simple men |
| The simple men we envy them |
| We envy the simple men |
| They’re terribly superstitious, fear the ghost and the gollum |
| They sit in a chair in the mountain air and breathe in the pollen |
| Their tweeds and plaids are homespun adorned with a sporran |
| They’re always at war with the valley folk because they are foreign |
| We envy them, the simple men |
| The simple men we envy them |
| We envy the simple men |
| Funny how it seems the more that we evolve |
| The more the basic problems of our lives get solved |
| The more we yearn for harder, simpler times back when |
| We envy them, the simple men |
| Their pigs have lice and their rats have mice and their dogs have rabies |
| They dig in the muck to make graves they mark with the names of their babies |
| They beat their wives, it serves them right it’s in Deuteronomy |
| And for their simple daughters they reserve clitorectomy |
| We envy them, the simple men |
| The simple men we envy them |
| We envy the simple men |
| Funny how the symbols of humanity |
| Turn out to be the images of brutality |
| Projecting soul on the soulless again |
| We envy them, the simple men |