| Tell you the story about the tubby from Kansas
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| I know I was plump for my age
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| But I knew how to sing and I knew how to dance
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| And knew my way ‘round the vaudeville stage
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| Cut all the crap and quit all that slapstick
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| You ain’t what you’re meant to be
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| Your singing’s a grace that you’re going to waste
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| Said the voice of the century
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| I said: Why be second best?
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| We’ll see who’s laughin' last
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| As I walked out into the stage lights
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| The king of the cake fight
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| I made a bet you wouldn’t believe
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| As I said, I could sing like a bird
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| I’m gonna be on top of the heap
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| Without ever saying a word
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| Now what can I say: The people rejoiced
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| And they loved cracking up over me
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| As the boy with the golden voice
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| Seized the silver screen
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| I rode my fancy car
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| Down sunset boulevard
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| To my mansion by the lakeside
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| The king of the cake fight
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| You know how it goes, you know what’s at stake
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| That fame has a shady side
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| You make a fortune out of throwing a cake
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| And someone always wants a piece of the pie
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| She wasn’t much better when she hopped off the train
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| A starlet just drifting along
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| I took her upstairs for a glass of champagne
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| What could ever go wrong?
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| She don’t look so well
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| But what the hell
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| It’s gonna be a great night
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| For the king of the cake fight
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| The king of the cake fight
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| DISGRACE AND A SHAME!
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| The king of the cake fight
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| WIPE OUT HIS NAME!
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| The king of the cake fight |