| It was MacDougal in Manhattan, that’s when it really started |
| I was served a glass of wine without even being carded |
| So I partied on the barley, was a beast on the yeast |
| Graduation, drank champagne, heckled Bill Cosby’s speech |
| Holiday Inn, Hollywood, I would wallow in gin |
| Watched the ladies at the pool that I never saw swim |
| Moved back in with my parents in a high rise that’s high maintenance |
| Waited tables at Houlihan’s, met waiters who get libations |
| When they bellowed «get the hell out!» we’d find bars that stayed open |
| Hope I don’t wake my folks, if they knew my heart would be broken |
| Guess it already was, that’s why I’m always so buzzed |
| Can’t confront all the crud, what I want’s to be loved |
| Detective dad solved the case of the disappearing liquid |
| Want him to feel how it felt, want him to see we’re both addicted |
| Sat me down, said «your mother thinks you’re drinking too much |
| I just want you to think about it, you’re too young for a crutch» |
| Mom found my marijuana, dad delivered decrees |
| «You get out of my house if you be smoking that weed» |
| I said, «you're a hypocrite that’s addicted as well |
| You’ve been drunk my whole life, it’s like I’m living in hell» |
| He said I should grow up, maybe corral a career |
| They left, I’m bereft, a hefty bag full of fear |
| The doorman took my stuff to the tougher side of town |
| The house of broken balls was a squall in which I drowned |
| No joke we did coke in some copious clumps |
| It was followed by a hollow, got us down in the dumps |
| Played Turok 64 'til my roomie erased my save |
| Was a loser in a war where the winner was a wave |
| Wake and bake, two three steaks, after dinner digestive |
| Liquor at the local bar that is just across the street |
| Every day I’d get a beer, sometimes I’m passed a Xanax |
| Take several tabs of acid, didn’t see the disadvantage |
| On a lark with a lamb who likes slammin' Sambuca |
| Bewitched me then she ditched me, what a bitchy bazooka |
| Hailed a cab, it’s a trap, long before the Google map |
| Dropped me off where they sell heroin, it’s an arrow in the back |
| Called my buddy Michael, they called him Mike D |
| Ex-member of a cult, found no fault I could see |
| Waited in the streetlight, cross streets keeping me comp |
| About to lose my life because I’m dangerously drunk |
| Double vision, got no balance or my bearings, I’m buried |
| He comes around the corner, mustn’t tarry, starts to carry |
| Barely got to our block, I heard the sound from behind |
| To this day I hear a jogger, I’m brought back to that time |
| We were surrounded by Glocks, one glistened a glare |
| I closed my eyes so tight, so frightened and scared |
| Steel was in my stomach, heater rests against my head |
| Took my wallet, punched my friend, hurried off like thoroughbreds |