| Good evening one and all, this is channel 24
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| Bringing you the latest news around the world
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| Down in Florida today, someone tried to get away
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| When he commandeered the train at Disney World
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| Until noon it was a standoff, but then he lost his luck
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| When someone shot him down, dressed up like Donald Duck
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| It was a midget G-man
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| And we’re sorry that we could not show it live
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| But we’ll have film of the shooting here at five
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| Give me some news I can use, let me smile for a while
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| For the madness has taken it’s toll
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| Give me some news I can use, just a break for the sake
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| Of my mind which is losing control
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| From Washington today, called a senator to say
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| That our future has been cancelled 'cause we’re broke
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| We called the white house without end finally reached the President
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| Says he don’t know if it’s real or just a joke
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| And last night at the playoffs, things got pretty grim
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| They crucified the referee and tore him limb from limb
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| Ah, you should have been there
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| And in the weather, there’s a hurricane in sight
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| And that’s the way it is with us tonight
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| Give me some news I can use, let me smile for a while
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| For the madness has taken it’s toll
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| Give me some news I can use, just a break for the sake
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| Of my mind which is losing control
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| Seems like every single day another mind gets blown away
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| And the world goes just a little more insane
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| I got problems of my own, tryin' to keep my house and home
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| And I sure could stand some cheerful news again
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| My agent called to tell me my record’s on the chart
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| It’s number 90 with an anchor, I never said that it was art
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| I gotta eat too, ya know
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| And my buddy who still owes me for his bail
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| He says, «don't worry, your check is in the mail»
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| Give me some news I can use, let me smile for a while
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| For the madness has taken it’s toll
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| Give me some news I can use, just a break for the sake
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| Of my mind which is losing control
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| ASCAP |