It’s because of you there’s a Giant in our midst
|
and my Wife is dead!
|
JACK
|
But it isn’t my fault,
|
I was given those beans!
|
You persuaded me to trade away
|
My cow for beans!
|
And without those beans
|
There’d have been no stalk
|
To get up to the Giants
|
In the first place!
|
BAKER
|
Wait a minute, magic beans
|
For a cow so old
|
That you had to tell
|
A lie to sell
|
It, which you told!
|
Were they worthless beans?
|
Were they oversold?
|
Oh, and tell us who
|
Persuaded you
|
To steal that gold.
|
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (To Jack)
|
See, it’s your fault.
|
JACK
|
No!
|
BAKER
|
So it’s you fault…
|
JACK
|
No!
|
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
|
Yes, it is!
|
JACK
|
It’s not!
|
BAKER
|
It’s true.
|
JACK
|
Wait a minute-
|
But I only stole the gold
|
To get my Cow back from you!
|
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (To Baker)
|
So it’s your fault!
|
JACK
|
Yes!
|
BAKER
|
No, it isn’t!
|
I’d have kept those beans,
|
But our house was cursed.
|
She made us get the cow to get
|
The curse reversed!
|
WITCH
|
It’s you father’s fault
|
That the curse got placed
|
And the place got cursed
|
In the first place!
|
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
|
Oh.
|
Then it’s his fault!
|
WITCH
|
So.
|
CINDERELLA
|
It was his fault…
|
JACK
|
No.
|
BAKER
|
Yes, it is,
|
It’s his.
|
CINDERELLA
|
I guess…
|
JACK
|
Wait a minute, though-
|
I chopped down the beanstalk-
|
Right? |
That’s clear.
|
But without any beanstalk,
|
Then what’s queer
|
Is how did the second Giant get down here
|
In the first place?
|
Second place…
|
CINDERELLA
|
Yes!
|
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
|
How?
|
BAKER
|
Hmmm…
|
JACK
|
Well,
|
Who had the other bean?
|
BAKER
|
The other bean?
|
CINDERELLA
|
The other bean?
|
JACK (To Baker)
|
You pocketed the other bean.
|
BAKER
|
I didn’t!
|
Yes I did.
|
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
|
So it’s your-!
|
BAKER
|
No, it isn’t,
|
'Cause I gave it to my Wife!
|
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
|
So it’s her-!
|
BAKER
|
No, it isn’t!
|
CINDERELLA
|
Then whose is it?
|
BAKER (To Cinderella)
|
Wait a minute!
|
She exchanged that bean
|
To ontain your shoe,
|
So the one who knows what happened
|
To that bean is you!
|
CINDERELLA
|
You mean that old bean-
|
That your Wife-? |
Oh, dear-
|
But I nvere knew,
|
And so I threw-
|
Well, don’t look here!
|
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
|
So it’s your fault!
|
CINDERELLA
|
But-
|
JACK
|
See, it’s her fault-
|
CINDERELLA
|
But-
|
JACK
|
And it isn’t mine at all!
|
BAKER (To Cinderella)
|
But what?
|
CINDERELLA (To Jack)
|
Well, if you hadn’t gone
|
Back up again-
|
JACK
|
We were needy-
|
CINDERELLA
|
You were greedy!
|
Did you need that hen?
|
JACK
|
But I got it for my Mother-!
|
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
|
So it’s her fault then!
|
CINDERELLA
|
Yes? |
And what the harp
|
In the third place?
|
BAKER
|
Ther harp- yes!
|
JACK
|
She went and dared me to!
|
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
|
I dared you to?
|
JACK
|
You dared me to!
|
She said t hat I was scared-
|
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
|
Me?
|
JACK
|
To.
|
She dared me!
|
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
|
No, I didn’t!
|
BAKER, CINDERELLA, JACK
|
So it’s your fault!
|
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
|
Wait a minute-!
|
CINDERELLA
|
If you hadn’t dared him to-
|
BAKER (To Jack)
|
And you had left the harp alone,
|
We wouldn’t b ein trouble
|
In the first place!
|
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (To Cinderella)
|
Well, if you hadn’t thrown away the bean
|
In the first place-!
|
CINDERELLA
|
Well, if she hadn’t raised them in the first place-!
|
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (To Cinderella)
|
It was your fault!
|
JACK (To Witch)
|
Yes, if you hadn’t raised them in the first place-!
|
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD &BAKER (To Witch)
|
Right! |
It’s you raised them in the first place-!
|
CINDERELLA
|
You raised the beans in the first place!
|
JACK
|
It’s you fault!
|
CINDERELLA, JACK, BAKER, LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
|
You’re responsible!
|
You’re the one to blame!
|
It’s your fault! |