| They can’t catch me never gonna find me |
| They’re never gonna know that I’m the High Plains Drifter |
| Pulled over to the river to take a rest |
| Pulled out a pair of pliers and pulled the bullet out of my chest |
| Fear and loathing across the country listening to my 8 track |
| Reached behind the seat and grabbed a Kool from the pack |
| Long distance from my girl and I’m talking on the cellular |
| She said that she was sorry and I said yeah the hell you were |
| Check my rear view mirror check the gold tooth display |
| Check the odometer and I was on my way |
| Cause I’m a high plains drifter the best that you can get |
| A strapped shoplifter a pirate on cassette |
| Bust a Travis Bickle when I feel that I’m getting pushed |
| Don’t step to me or you’re gonna get mushed |
| Doing 120 plowing over mail boxes |
| Radar detector to tell me where the cops is |
| Spend another night at the Motel 6 |
| It’s five dollars extra get the porno flicks |
| Concoct a black and tan in my brandy snifter |
| I’m a kleptomaniac K-Mart shoplifter |
| Cash flow getting low so I had to pull a job |
| I found a nice place to visit but a better place to rob |
| Left the car outside with the engine still revvin' |
| Time to get busy at 7-Eleven |
| Went inside to make my withdrawal |
| I would’ve took what he had had had I had to take it all |
| Knucklehead deli tried to gyp me on the price |
| So I clocked him off the turban with the bag of ice |
| Mellow like Jell-O cool like lemonade |
| Made my getaway and I thought that I had it made |
| I feel like Steve McQueen a former movie star |
| Look in my rearview mirror seen a police car |
| Ballantine quarts with the puzzle on the cap |
| I couldn’t help but notice I was caught in a speed trap |
| Dirty Mary Crazy Larry on the run from Dirty Harry |
| Stash the cash in the dash but my gun I did carry |
| I’m seeing blue and red flashing deep in the night |
| I got my alibi straight and I pulled over to the right |
| Cop knocked on my window and said Boy where’s the fire |
| you’ve got a mailbox on your bumper and a bald front tire |
| Read me my rights fingerprinted and booked |
| Makin' like a D.T. driving a Gran Fury |
| Wherever I hang my hat’s my home and my past is kind of blurry |
| Every dog will have its day and mine will be in front of a jury |
| I’m the High Plains Drifter and I’m never in a hurry |
| Read me my rights as if I didn’t know this |
| Threw me in the tank with the drunk called Otis |
| With his five o' clock shadow he smelled of 3-day old beer |
| My man turned to me and said why are you here? |
| I said I’m charming and dashing I’m rental car bashing |
| Phony paper passing at Nix Check Cashing |
| Went before the judge he sent me to the Brooklyn House of D. |
| He said you behave son or we’ll throw away the key |
| Harry Houdini’d out the cuffs I kicked the screw in the knee |
| Took the bailiff’s wallet and went straight to O.T.B. |
| I had a good feeling easy come easy go |
| I bet on one horse to win and your mother to show |
| And sure enough that nag came in |
| Brought my ticket to the window and collected my win |
| Broke into my new car with a wire coat hanger |
| Hot wired hot wheeled and *Suzy is a headbanger* |