| Now here’s a little story
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| To tell it is a must
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| About an unsung hero
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| That moves away your dust
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| Some people make a fortune
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| Other’s earn a mint
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| My old man don’t earn much
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| In fact… he’s flippin'…skint
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| Oh, my old man’s a dustman
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| He wears a dustman’s hat
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| He wears cor blimey trousers
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| And he lives in a council flat
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| He looks a proper narner
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| In his great big hob nailed boots
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| He’s got such a job to pull em up
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| That he calls them daisy roots
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| Some folks give tips at Christmas
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| And some of them forget
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| So when he picks their bins up
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| He spills some on the steps
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| Now one old man got nasty
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| And to the council wrote
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| Next time my old man went 'round there
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| He punched him up the throat
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| Oh, my old man’s a dustman
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| He wears a dustman’s hat
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| He wears cor blimey trousers
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| And he lives in a council flat
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| I say, I say Duncan
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| I 'er… I found a police dog in my dustbin
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| (How do you know he’s a police dog)
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| He had a policeman with him
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| Though my old man’s a dustman
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| He’s got a heart of gold
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| He got married recently
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| Though he’s 86 years old
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| We said 'Ear! | 
| Hang on Dad
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| you’re getting past your prime'
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| He said 'Well when you get to my age'
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| 'It helps to pass the time'
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| Oh, my old man’s a dustman
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| He wears a dustman’s hat
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| He wears cor blimey trousers
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| And he lives in a council flat
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| I say, I say, I say
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| My dustbins full of lillies
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| (Well throw 'em away then)
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| I can’t Lilly’s wearing them
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| Now one day while in a hurry
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| He missed a lady’s bin
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| He hadn’t gone but a few yards
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| When she chased after him
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| 'What game do you think you’re playing'
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| She cried right from the heart
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| 'You've missed me… am I too late'
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| 'No… jump up on the cart'
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| Oh, my old man’s a dustman
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| He wears a dustman’s hat
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| He wears cor blimey trousers
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| And he lives in a council flat
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| I say, I say, I say (What you again)
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| My dustbin’s absolutely full with toadstools
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| (How do you know it’s full)
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| 'Cos there’s not much room inside
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| He found a tiger’s head one day
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| Nailed to a piece of wood
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| The tiger looked quite miserable
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| But I suppose it should
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| Just then from out a window
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| A voice began to wail
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| He said (Oi! Where’s me tiger head)
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| Four foot from it’s tail
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| Oh, my old man’s a dustman
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| He wears a dustman’s hat
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| He wears cor blimey trousers
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| And he lives in a council flat
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| Next time you see a dustman
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| Looking all pale and sad
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| Don’t kick him in the dustbin
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| It might be my old dad |