| Strikes the bell for 5 o’clock, Uncle Arthur closes shop |
| Screws the tops on all the bottles, turns the lights out, locks it up Climbs across his bike and he’s away |
| Cycles past the gasworks, past the river, down the high street |
| Back to mother, it’s another empty day |
| Uncle Arthur likes his mommy |
| Uncle Arthur still reads comics |
| Uncle Arthur follows Batman |
| Round and round the rumours fly, how he ran away from Mum |
| On his 32nd birthday, told her that he’d found a chum Mother cried and raved |
| and yelled and fussed |
| Arthur left her no illusion, brought the girl round, save confusion |
| Sally was the real thing, not just lust |
| Uncle Arthur vanished quickly |
| Uncle Arthur and his new bride |
| Uncle Arthur follows Sally |
| Round and round goes Arthur’s head, hasn’t eaten well for days |
| Little Sally may be lovely, but cooking leaves her in a maze |
| Uncle Arthur packed his bags and fled |
| Back to mother, all’s forgiven, serving in the family shop |
| He gets his pocket money, he’s well fed |
| Uncle Arthur past the gasworks |
| Uncle Arthur past the river |
| Uncle Arthur down the high street |
| Uncle Arthur follows mother |