| Now, Sheriff Fatman started out
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| In business, a granny farmer
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| He was infamous for fifteen minutes
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| And he appeared on Panorama
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| But then he somehow got himself on board
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| The Starship Enterprise Allowance Scheme
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| With a Prince of Wales award
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| For pushing Valium and amphetamines
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| Moving up onto second base
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| Behind Nicholas Van Wotsisface
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| Six foot six and a hundred tons
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| The undisputed king of the slum
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| More aliases than Klaus Barbie
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| The master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea
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| Just about to take the stage
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| The one and only, hold the front page
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| Fatman’s got something to sell
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| To the capitol’s homeless
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| At the Crossroads Hotel
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| For the no-fixed-abodeless
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| Where you can live life in style
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| You can sleep in a closet
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| And if you flash him a smile
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| He’ll take your teeth as deposit
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| There’s bats in the belfry
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| The windows are jammed
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| The toilets ain’t healthy
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| And he don’t give a damn
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| He just chuckles and smiles
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| Laughs like a madman
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| Born again Rachman
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| Here comes Sheriff Fatman
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| With his Valium, amphetamines
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| His sick notes and his phony prescriptions
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| And just when you thought it was safe
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| To go back into kitchen
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| Dead legs and cracked heads
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| Bunk-beds and breakfasts
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| Hey, hey, hey, cherish one
|
| Moving up onto second base
|
| Behind Nicholas Van Wotsisface
|
| Six foot six and a hundred tons
|
| The undisputed king of slums
|
| More aliases than Klaus Barbie
|
| The master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea
|
| Just about to take the stage
|
| The one and only, hold the front page
|
| Moving up now to take the place
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| Of Nicholas Van Wotsisface
|
| Six foot six and a hundred tons
|
| The undisputed king of the slums
|
| With more aliases than Klaus Barbie
|
| The master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea
|
| In a hatchback from Notre Dame
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| The one and only Sheriff Fatman
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| In goes another left hook and now I’m losing my patience
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| Someone call up Roger Cook and the United Nations
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| He’s buying up houses for the has beens and helping
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| From Lands End to South end to Chelsea
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| There’s bats in the belfry
|
| The windows are jammed
|
| The toilets ain’t healthy
|
| He don’t give a damn
|
| He just chuckles and smiles
|
| Laughs like a madman
|
| Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Sheriff Fatman
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| Sheriff Fatman, Sheriff Fatman, Sheriff Fatman, brainchumps |