| I ain’t from nowhere near Kentucky |
| No right to sing them southern blues |
| I’m from Toronto, snowy city |
| From a neighbourhood of Jews |
| Don’t get no high from Blue Ridge Mountains |
| I get no buzz from Bowling Green |
| After a long day on the golf course |
| I like to take a little steam |
| That mean old man, who gives the plaitzas |
| Hot, foamy eucalyptus leaves |
| He hits so hard, my skin is burning |
| Well you should see the welts he leaves |
| That mean old man |
| They want to play a little poker |
| Promise me I won’t lose my shirt |
| Every mensch, a Cuban smoker |
| I can’t sit down, my butt still hurts |
| That mean old man, who gives the plaitzas |
| Hot, foamy eucalyptus leaves |
| He hits so hard, my skin is burning |
| Well you should see the welts he leaves |
| That mean old man |
| That mean old man, he’s here on Sundays |
| And that’s when all the regulars show |
| Turn up the heat, these are the fun days |
| Hey, it’s my turn. I gotta go! |
| That mean old man, who gives the plaitzas |
| Hot, foamy eucalyptus leaves |
| He hits so hard, my skin is burning |
| Well you should see the welts he leaves |
| That mean old man |