| Mustache? |
| No
|
| Sideburns? |
| No
|
| Goatee? |
| Maybe
|
| Beard? |
| Beard!
|
| Do you feel alone?
|
| Do you feel neglected?
|
| Not doin' too well with the ladies?
|
| Well I got the solution for you!
|
| Low self esteem? |
| Grow a beard!
|
| Afraid to follow your dreams? |
| Grow a beard!
|
| Are you lonely and sad? |
| Grow a beard!
|
| Wanna look good in plaid? |
| Grow a beard!
|
| Are you workin' out? |
| Grow a beard!
|
| Did your car break down? |
| Grow a beard!
|
| Ice caps melting? |
| Grow a beard!
|
| Are you stuck in the middle of nowhere and you need to make an important phone
|
| call
|
| But the battery’s dead and you can’t find an outlet to plug in your charger?
|
| Grow a beard!
|
| Grow the beard!
|
| Feed the beard!
|
| Brush the beard!
|
| Manscape the beard!
|
| Stroke the beard!
|
| Love the beard!
|
| Fear the beard!
|
| Obey the beard!
|
| Obey the beard!
|
| (Obey the beard!)
|
| Behold the beard! |
| (Obey the beard!)
|
| Accept the beard! |
| (Obey the beard!)
|
| Respect the beard! |
| (Obey the beard!)
|
| «Oh my god, Becky, look at his beard! |
| It’s just so… beard!»
|
| Impress your date, with your beard!
|
| Eat a steak, with a beard!
|
| Chop down trees, with a beard!
|
| Crush your enemies, with a beard!
|
| Catch a fish, with a beard!
|
| Roundhouse kick, with a beard!
|
| Trawl the net, with a beard!
|
| Chia pet? |
| Ch-ch-ch-chia, beard!
|
| Drive a truck, with a beard!
|
| Try your luck, with a beard!
|
| Arm wrestle, with a beard!
|
| Teenage Mutant Ninja beard
|
| Pet your doggie, with a beard!
|
| I pledge allegiance to the beard!
|
| Can’t grow a beard? |
| Then buy a beard!
|
| Do you have a beard? |
| Then grow more beard
|
| «You need to shave this thing!»
|
| Shut up, Grandma, grow a beard!
|
| Defend the beard!
|
| Drink to the beard!
|
| 'Cause beards are good…
|
| And scruff!
|
| (Obey the beard!)
|
| Behold the beard! |
| (Obey the beard!)
|
| Accept the beard! |
| (Obey the beard!)
|
| Respect the beard! |
| (Obey the beard!)
|
| I was so empty and lost inside
|
| 'Til I grew you ('til I grew you)
|
| I put my faith in my facial hair
|
| To get me through
|
| Well I can defy the odds again and again
|
| With you on my chin (you on my chin)
|
| With every moment you grow closer and closer
|
| To my heart
|
| «Sigh… I love you beard.»
|
| «If you love it so much, why don’t you just marry it?»
|
| «Huh…»
|
| «Do you take this beard to be your lawfully wedded beard, for bearder or for
|
| worse, in scruffiness and in beard, 'til shave do you part?»
|
| «I beard!»
|
| (Beard! Beard! Beard! Beard! Beard! Beard! Beard!)
|
| Abe Lincoln had a beard
|
| ZZ Top, epic beards!
|
| Dimebag Darrell, metal beard!
|
| Chuck Norris, kickass beard!
|
| Number one, make it beard!
|
| Chewbacca, is a beard!
|
| Santa Claus, Jesus Christ
|
| God… has a beard!
|
| Obey the beard!
|
| Obey the beard!
|
| Obey the beard!
|
| Obey the beard! |