| We docked Port at noon, south of Seattle
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| I was chomping down on some glorious cattle
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| For tonight we were going on a casino crawl
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| Gamble our treasure, pleasure for all
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| The first place we went, had an odorous stench
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| A smelly old hobo, and an ugly old wench
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| I hopped up to her, and winked in her direction
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| She gazed her eyes down to my pirate erection
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| With that we made haste
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| Into the night, what a sight
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| There’s more to enjoy
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| Now let’s go, ahoy
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| Well we drunk, and we danced
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| With my good eye I glanced
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| A hotter wench
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| With my hook at full mast
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| Such beauty, what a booty
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| I whipped out my flask
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| To have a drink
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| With my hook at full mast
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| So I ditched that old carp, and put on my hat
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| I’m Captain Yarrface I’m better than that
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| I stumbled up, to the new bird I spied
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| I gave her the wink, worked last time I tried
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| To my surprise, she fell at my knees
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| Pulled down my pants, and what did she see?
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| She wasn’t impressed, she’d seen it before
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| Though my rusty old cannon was standing full bore
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| I picked up my hat
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| My pants and my gun, now lets run
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| There’s more to enjoy
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| Now let’s go, ahoy
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| Well we drunk, and we danced
|
| With my good eye I glanced
|
| A hotter wench
|
| With my hook at full mast
|
| Such beauty, what a booty
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| I whipped out my flask
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| To have a drink
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| With my hook at full mast
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| Hold on a second
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| Somebody’s stolen my hat
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| I’m gonna kill everyone in this fucking pub
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| Starting with you |