| Arthur: Old woman!
|
| Dennis: MAN!
|
| Arthur: Man, sorry. |
| What knight lives in that castle over there?
|
| Dennis: I’m 37.
|
| Arthur: What?
|
| Dennis: I’m 37, I’m not old!
|
| Arthur: Well, I can’t just call you «man».
|
| Dennis: You could say «Dennis».
|
| Arthur: I didn’t know you were called Dennis.
|
| Dennis: Well you didn’t bother to find out, did you?
|
| Arthur: I did say I’m sorry about the «old woman"thing, but from behind you
|
| looked…
|
| Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treatin' me like an inferior.
|
| Arthur: Well, I am king.
|
| Dennis: Oh, king, eh? |
| Very nice. |
| And how’d you get that, eh? |
| By exploiting the
|
| workers! |
| By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the
|
| economic and social differences in our society! |
| If there’s ever going to be any
|
| progress…
|
| Dennis' Mother: Dennis, Dennis, there’s some lovely filth down here! |
| Oh.
|
| How’d you do?
|
| Arthur: How do you do, good lady? |
| I am Arthur, king of the Britons.
|
| Whose castle is that?
|
| Dennis' Mother: King of the who?
|
| Arthur: The Britons.
|
| Dennis' Mother: Who are the Britons?
|
| Arthur: Well, we are. |
| You are all Britons and I am your king.
|
| Dennis' Mother: I didn’t know we had a king. |
| I thought we were an autonomous
|
| collective.
|
| Dennis: You’re fooling yourself. |
| We’re living in a dictatorship!
|
| A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes…
|
| Dennis' Mother: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again!
|
| Dennis: But that’s what it’s all about! |
| If only people would realise…
|
| Arthur: Please, please, good people. |
| I am in haste. |
| Who lives in that castle?
|
| Dennis' Mother: No one lives there.
|
| Arthur: Then who is your lord?
|
| Dennis' Mother: We don’t have a lord.
|
| Arthur: What?!
|
| Dennis: I told you. |
| We’re an anarcho-syndicalist commune. |
| We take it in turns
|
| to act as sort-of-executive officer for the week…
|
| Arthur: Yes.
|
| Dennis: … But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a
|
| special biweekly meeting…
|
| Arthur: Yes, I see.
|
| Dennis:… by a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs…
|
| Arthur: Be quiet.
|
| Dennis:… but by a two thirds majority, in the case of more major —
|
| Arthur: Be quiet! |
| I order you to be quiet!
|
| Dennis' Mother: Order, eh? |
| Who does he think he is?
|
| Arthur: I am your king!
|
| Dennis' Mother: Well I didn’t vote for you.
|
| Arthur: You don’t vote for kings!
|
| Dennis' Mother: How’d you become king, then?
|
| Arthur: The Lady of the Lake,… her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite,
|
| held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine
|
| Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. |
| THAT is why I am your king!
|
| Dennis: Listen. |
| Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis
|
| for a system of government. |
| Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from
|
| the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
|
| Arthur: Be quiet!
|
| Dennis: You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some
|
| watery tart threw a sword at you!
|
| Arthur: Shut up!
|
| Dennis: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some
|
| moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!
|
| Arthur: Shut up! |
| Will you shut up?! |
| Dennis: Ah, now we see the violence
|
| inherent in the system!
|
| Arthur: Shut up!
|
| Dennis: Oh! |
| Come and see the violence inherent in the system! |
| HELP, HELP,
|
| I’M BEING REPRESSED!
|
| Arthur: BLOODY PEASANT!
|
| Dennis: Oh, what a giveaway. |
| Did you hear that? |
| Did you hear that, eh?
|
| That’s what I’m on about! |
| Did you see him repressing me? |
| You saw it,
|
| didn’t you? |