| Thanks to Lenny Laakso
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| They’re cookin' for the down five
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| Who’re starin' at Miss Rayon
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| Who’s busy licking up her pig-pen
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| I’m searching for my mainline
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| I said I couldn’t hit it sideways
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| I said I couldn’t hit it sideways
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| just like Sister Ray said
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| Rosey and Miss Rayon
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| They’re busy waiting for her booster
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| who just got back from Carolina
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| said she didn’t like the weather
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| They’re busy waiting for her Sailor
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| who’s dressed in pink and leather
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| (alt: who said he’s just as big as ever)
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| He’s just here from Alabama
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| he wants to know a way to earn a dollar
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| I’m searching for my mainer
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| I said I couldn’t hit it sideways
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| I said I couldn’t hit it sideways
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| just like Sister Ray said
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| Cecil’s got his new piece
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| He cocks and shoots it bang between three & four
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| He aims it at the Sailor
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| Shoots him down dead on the floor
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| Aw, you shouldn’t do that
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| Don’t you know you’ll stain the carpet
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| Now don’t you know you’ll stain the carpet
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| And by the way have you got a dollar
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| Oh, no man, I haven’t got the time-time
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| She’s busy sucking on a ding-dong
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| He’s busy sucking on my ding-dong
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| just like Sister Ray said
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| I’m searching for my mainline
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| I said I c-c-c-couldn't hit it sideways
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| I said I c-c-c-couldn't hit it sideways
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| just like Sister Ray says
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| Who’s that knocking
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| Who’s that knocking on my chamber door
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| Could it be the police?
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| They come and take me for a ride-ride
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| But I haven’t got the time-time
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| She’s been sucking on my ding-dong
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| She’s busy sucking on my ding-dong
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| Just like Sister Ray said
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| I’m searching for my mainline
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| I couldn’t hit it sideways
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| I couldn’t hit it sideways
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| just like … Sister Ray says |