| The Count has an eye on his ankle
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| And lives in a horrible place
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| He wants all your money, he’s never at all funny
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| He wants to remove your face
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| And you might be thinking what a romp this is
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| But wait 'til you meet his accomplices
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| When you see Count Olaf, you’re suddenly full of
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| Disgust and despair and dismay
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| In the whole of the soul
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| Of Count Olaf there’s no love
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| When you see Count Olaf, count to zero
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| Then scream and run away!
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| Scream, scream, scream and run away
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| Run, run, run, run, run, run, run
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| Or die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die
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| Run, run, run, run, run, run, run
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| Or die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die
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| Two women with powdered white faces
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| And one long-nosed bald man with warts
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| Things worsen and worsen, there’s a hook-handed person
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| And others with nastier parts
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| This evil and unpleasant crew
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| Complete Count Olaf’s acting troupe
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| The goal of Count Olaf is getting control of
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| The fortunes of urchins and orphans, hooray
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| I mean, horrors, Count Olaf
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| Is no laughing matter
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| When you see Count Olaf, count to zero
|
| Then scream and run away!
|
| Scream, scream, scream and run away
|
| Run, run, run, run, run, run, run
|
| Or die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die
|
| Run, run, run, run, run, run, run
|
| Or die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die |