| If all your fancy diet plans have got your head a’swimmin' |
| And everything you eat must be approved by Richard Simmons |
| Stop eatin' that birdseed, friend |
| 'cause what you really need is |
| A procedure guaranteed not to impede your need to feed |
| Liposuction |
| Liposuction |
| The new, immediate weight reduction plan |
| Trade in the hand you’ve been dealt |
| And get surgically svelte |
| At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man |
| If you’ve abandoned exercise and your gut keeps gettin' vaster |
| Your thighs are growin' oversize, and your butt’s gone off to pasture |
| If you want a new demeanor |
| And you’re keen on gettin' leaner |
| Then your remedy is an M.D. |
| With a fancy vacuum cleaner |
| Liposuction |
| Liposuction |
| The new, immediate weight reduction plan |
| Take the fat cells from your hips |
| Put 'em in Barbare Hershey’s lips |
| At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man |
| If your waistline is a’surgin' |
| And in need of some reversion |
| And your overall weight dispersion’s |
| Gettin' on the verge o' perversion |
| I’m encouragin' an excursion |
| To go searchin' for a surgeon |
| And get your emergency purgin' |
| Of the burgreoning fat emergin' from your chin |
| Liposuction |
| Liposuction |
| The new, immediate weight reduction plan |
| Get your torso reformatted |
| Get a nose job while you’re at it |
| At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man |
| Make your ass twelve inches thinner |
| And be home in time for dinner |
| At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man |
| Well, the doctor’s bill may vex ya' |
| But it sure beats anorexia |
| At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man |