| Tulane and Johnny opened a novelty shop |
| Back under the counter was the cream of the crop |
| Eveything was clicking and the business was good |
| 'Til one day, lo and behold, an officer stood |
| Johnny jumped the counter but he stumbled and fell |
| But Tulane made it over Johnny ??? as he yelled |
| Go ahead on, Tulane, he can’t catch up with you |
| Go Tulane, he ain’t man enough for you |
| Go Tulane, use all the speed you got |
| Go Tulane, you know you need a lot |
| Go Tulane, he laggin' behind |
| Go ahead on, Tulane |
| Go by your father’s house and tell him business is slow |
| And see if he will loan us something, soon as he hits the dough |
| Put the cat out in the hall and rumple up the room |
| Go by Doctor Keller’s, tell him you swollowed some perfume |
| Tell him we need him quick, 'cause he may to testify |
| That you been sick all day and that’s a perfect alibi |
| Go ahead on, Tulane, he can’t catch up with you |
| Go Tulane, he ain’t man enough for you |
| Go Tulane, use all the speed you got |
| Go Tulane, you know you need a lot |
| Go Tulane, he laggin' behind |
| Go ahead on, Tulane |
| Go, let Danny drive in case you run into the man |
| Back by the shop and get the stuff and hide it in the van |
| Go back by your father’s, get the money for the bail |
| And bring it down and bail me out this rotten, funky jail |
| We got to get a lawyer in the click of politics |
| Somebody who can win the thing or get the thing fixed |
| Go ahead on, Tulane, he can’t catch up with you |
| Go Tulane, he ain’t man enough for you |
| Go Tulane, use all the speed you got |
| Go Tulane, you know you need a lot |
| Go Tulane, he laggin' behind |
| Go ahead on, Tulane, go ahead on |