| Fat and weak, what a disgrace
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| Guess the champ got too lazy
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| Ain’t gonna fly now, he’s just takin' up space
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| Sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain
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| But he’s no bum, he works down the street
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| He bought the neighborhood deli
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| Back on his feet, now he’s choppin' up meat
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| Come inside, maybe you’ll hear him say
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| Try the rye or the kaiser
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| They’re on special tonight
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| If you want, you can have an appetizer
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| You might like our silami and the liver’s alright
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| And they really go well with the rye or the kaiser
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| Never eats while on the job
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| He heard it’s good to stay hungry
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| But he makes a pretty mean shishkabob
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| Have a taste, they were made fresh today
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| Try the rye or the kaiser
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| Or the wheat or the white
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| Maybe I can suggest an appetizer
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| Stay away from the tuna, it smells funny tonight
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| But you just can’t go wrong with the rye or the kaiser
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| So today, his deli comes first
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| Steady dreams of his past days of glory
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| Goes to the back and beats on the liverwurst
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| All the while you can still hear him say
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| It’s the rye or the kaiser
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| It’s the thrill of one bite
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| Let me please be your catering advisor
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| If you want substitutions
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| I won’t put up a fight
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| You can have your roast beef on the rye or the kaiser
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| The rye or the kaiser
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| The rye or the kaiser |