| I was walking round Hollywood
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| 3 a.m. Sunday night
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| People passing, looking at me so strange
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| Cause no-one walks round here unless they’re deranged
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| Out of an alleyway a woman appears
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| Motions me, come inside
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| She said, you’ve been trying hard
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| In this town too long
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| So don’t apologize
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| If you want to make it big in Hollywood
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| This is what you got to do
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| If you want to make it big in Hollywood, girl
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| You gotta be a Jew
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| Well, I been up on that speed
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| And down on that booze
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| And high on cocaine
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| But nothing ever really could relieve my pain
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| And when a couple of late nights
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| Turn into a week or two
|
| When you need to find a doctor child
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| It’s gotta be a Jewish man
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| And then the lady, she leaned close to me
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| Whispered, there’s something you ought to know
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| If you want to find a party
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| A Jewish man will know where to go
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| And if you got a job to do
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| Trust a Jewish man to get it done
|
| If you want a lawyer or a CPA
|
| He’s gotta be a Jewish man
|
| He’s gotta be a Jew
|
| Well, I been up on that speed
|
| And down on that booze
|
| And high on cocaine
|
| But nothing ever really could relieve my pain
|
| And when a couple of late nights
|
| Turn into a week or two
|
| When you need to find a doctor child
|
| It’s gotta be a Jewish man
|
| Catholic boys and protestants
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| Can be so very sweet
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| But when it comes to making nice
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| The Jews have got them beat
|
| They got kosher salamis
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| They’ve got their funky hats
|
| When it’s time to rock and roll
|
| They’ll show you where it’s at
|
| Well, I been up on that speed
|
| And down on that booze
|
| And high on cocaine
|
| But nothing ever really could relieve my pain
|
| And when a couple of late nights
|
| Turn into a week or two
|
| When you need to find a doctor child
|
| It’s gotta be a Jewish man |