| Wanna know what makes me mad?
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| People older than seventy
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| They’re always like
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| «Eh, back in my day the year was 1903»
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| They say they know everything
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| But they can’t do shit without your help
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| «You kids with your sort-sleeve shirts
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| Ahh, I just crapped myself»
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| Old ass grandpas all sit outside
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| «Ahh»
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| And bitch about how shit used
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| To cost a dime
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| «It cost, uh»
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| They run us over
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| Why can’t they drive?
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| «Well, back in my day
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| Negroes gave us piggy-back rides»
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| I just don’t like old people
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| 'Cause they want everyone to
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| Wipe their butts
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| «Wait there’s more»
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| Old people are fucking dumb
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| They always want to you tell about
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| The war
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| «Back in the war, uphill both ways»
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| Old people won’t never be quiet
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| Well, I guess they will when they die
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| Because they got Alzheimers and cancer
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| «Well, at least I don’t have Alzheimers»
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| They drive those high-tech scooters
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| And they can’t work cell-phones
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| Or computers
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| We gotta stand in line all day
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| At the self-checkout
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| Because they think its magic
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| Old ass white boys
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| Think that they’re smart
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| «Huh, I invented the wheel, and fire, and farts»
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| They’re all good Christians
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| «'Cause I knew Christ»
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| They need him now, because
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| «I'm deaf and blind»
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| Old people, get off the road
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| Why don’t y’all
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| Ever flush the toilet bowl
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| «Eh, how do I work this thing?»
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| And the Pope is as old as dirt
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| And he lets people
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| Touch young little boys
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| «Eh, guess who’s got some candy?»
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| I don’t like old geezers, they think that
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| «Russian people did that 9/11 day»
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| They spend their life on the porch smoking their pipe
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| And calling everyone else lazy
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| You wanna know why I really hate them?
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| Because their gonna die soon, so I get attached, ya know?
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| Let’s take Grandpa out on the boat one last time and drop him off
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| To swim off peacefully into the night
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| Here you go, Gramps
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| Ah, Grandpa sure did love the ocean
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| That’s the way he would’ve wanted it
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| Ya know? |
| I can still hear his voice
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| I sure am gonna miss that old faggot
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| Fuck them old people 'cause they all
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| Take a dump in their diapers
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| «There's my Raisin Bran»
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| Old people like apple-sauce
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| And they all
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| Call coca-cola, soda pop
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| «Eh, don’t drink too much soda pop»
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| Old people belong in a
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| Old age home
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| They’re too old to live with you
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| «But I built this house!»
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| Old people are dumb as fuck
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| All their teeth fall out
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| When they chew apples
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| «Where they go?»
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| «Eh, what’s with all these sports you play these days?
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| Ski, that’s a sport?
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| If not for the hill, they’d be standing still there
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| Uhh
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| All these channels you have on your television
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| Back in my day, the radio had two channels
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| On and off
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| Rucka’s World dot com» |