| Write a loving letter, boy
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| With swoops and sweeps and curls
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| Calligraphers are just the thing to help you win your girl
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| Then you’ll need to dress up smart
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| The tailor’s here by chance
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| He’ll stitch your trousers, hole your belt in fine couture of France
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| Your shoes, my goodness, how they’re worn, but you’re too young to know
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| That nothing courts a woman’s scorn more than scuffs on the toe
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| The cobbler can attend to that
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| Meanwhile, you must have cake
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| The baker and patissier need work, for goodness' sake
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| Hi dee diddly um de dum de day
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| What a merry time we’ll have upon your wedding day
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| Hi dee diddly um de dum de day
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| There’s work for all when little boys get married
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| That pointy cone upon your head, you can’t be wearing that
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| The milliner will fix you up
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| With a proper high silk hat
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| The bride, of course, she’ll need a dress
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| On that we must agree
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| The seamstress, my young lover
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| Oh, how grateful she will be
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| The rings, by gum, did I forget?
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| Well that’s my favorite part
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| The vows, the whole romantic mess
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| Now that’s a jeweler’s art
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| And so you see our handiwork
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| Is yours if you’re inclined
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| But our livelihood’s at stake
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| So don’t you go and change your mind
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| Hi dee diddly um de dum de day
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| What a merry time we’ll have upon your wedding day
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| Hi dee diddly um de dum de day
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| There’s work for all when little boys get married |