| Through the bars of a large enclosure
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| The village ladies intently stared,
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| Where a gorilla with massive composure
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| Was impassively combing his hair.
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| They were shamelessly interested,
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| Eyeing devoutly a certain spot,
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| But me mother’s a special requester
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| I refrain from telling you what.
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| Brother Gorilla!
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| The door of the circus lock-up,
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| Where the noble brute had been put,
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| By an administrational cock-up
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| Was unwisely left unshut
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| 'I'm going to lose it at last,' he cried,
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| Swinging lissomely out of his cage,
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| Referring, of course, to his chastity:
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| He was just at the difficult age
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| Brother Gorilla!
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| Those self-same ladies who previously
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| Had been licking their lips from afar
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| Did a bunk, which shows how devious
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| And whimsical women are.
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| In the path of the lovesick monkey
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| There were two who wouldn’t budge:
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| A little old lady all shrunken,
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| And a petty sessions judge.
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| Brother Gorilla!
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| The old girl said 'It would be surprising
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| And unlikely in the extreme
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| If anyone found me appetising,
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| And beyond my wildest dreams!'
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| The judge intoned with tranquillity:
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| 'To take me for a female ape
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| Would be the height of improbability'.
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| Even judges make mistakes.
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| Brother Gorilla!
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| It would be curious and uncanny,
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| Say, if the choice were up to you
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| To ravish a judge or a granny
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| And you didn’t know which to do.
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| If I were in such a position
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| And the choice had got to be mine,
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| I’d beg the old lady’s permission
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| But go for grandma every time.
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| Brother Gorilla!
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| Though the gorilla is very proficient
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| In the role of a paramour
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| His mental equipment’s deficient
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| And his eyesight’s awfully poor.
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| With a palaeolithic leer
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| He gave the old lady the miss
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| And, grabbing the judge by the ear,
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| Gave him an introductory kiss.
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| Brother Gorilla!
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| In time the gorilla’s desires
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| Were more or less gratified.
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| The judge, being rather biased,
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| Couldn’t see the funny side.
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| He was kicking and screaming and wailing
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| When his moment of truth had come,
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| Like those wretches he orders daily
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| To be taken away and hung.
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| Brother Gorilla! |