| Smut! |
| Give me smut and nothing but! |
| A dirty novel I can’t shut, |
| If it’s uncut, |
| and unsubt- le. |
| I’ve never quibbled |
| If it was ribald, |
| I would devour where others merely nibbled. |
| As the judge remarked the day that he |
| acquitted my Aunt Hortense, |
| «To be smut |
| It must be ut- |
| Terly without redeeming social importance.» |
| Por- |
| Nographic pictures I adore. |
| Indecent magazines galore, |
| I like them more |
| If they’re hard core. |
| (Bring on the obscene movies, murals, postcards, neckties, |
| samplers, stained-glass windows, tattoos, anything! |
| More, more, I’m still not satisfied!) |
| Stories of tortures |
| Used by debauchers, |
| Lurid, licentious, and vile, |
| Make me smile. |
| Novels that pander |
| To my taste for candor |
| Give me a pleasure sublime. |
| (Let's face it, I love slime.) |
| All books can be indecent books |
| Though recent books are bolder, |
| For filth (I'm glad to say) is in |
| the mind of the beholder. |
| When correctly viewed, |
| Everything is lewd. |
| (I could tell you things about Peter Pan, |
| And the Wizard of Oz, there’s a dirty old man!) |
| I thrill |
| To any book like Fanny Hill, |
| And I suppose I always will, |
| If it is swill |
| And really fil |
| thy. |
| Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately? |
| I’ve got a hobby: rereading Lady Chatterley. |
| But now they’re trying to take it all |
| away from us unless |
| We take a stand, and hand in hand |
| we fight for freedom of the press. |
| In other words, |
| Smut! (I love it) |
| Ah, the adventures of a slut. |
| Oh, I’m a market they can’t glut, |
| I don’t know what |
| Compares with smut. |
| Hip hip hooray! |
| Let’s hear it for the Supreme Court! |
| Don’t let them take it away! |