| You’ve heard of several kinds of cat
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| And my opinion now is that
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| You should need no interpreter to understand our character
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| You’ve learned enough to take the view
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| That cats are very much like you
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| You’ve seen us both at work and games
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| And learnt about our proper names
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| Our habits and habitat
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| But how would you ad-dress a cat
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| So first, your memory I’ll jog
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| And say: A cat is not a dog
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| So first, your memory I’ll jog
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| And say: A cat is not a dog
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| With cats, some say, one rule is true
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| Don’t speak 'til you are spoken to Myself I do not hold with that
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| I say, you should ad-dress a cat
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| But always bear in mind that he resents familiarity
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| You bow, and taking off your hat, ad-dress him in this form «O Cat!»
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| Before a cat will condescend
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| To treat you as a trusted friend
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| Some little token of esteem is needed, like a dish of cream
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| And you might now and then supply
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| Some caviar or Straussburg pie
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| Some potted grouse or salmon paste
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| He’s sure to have his personal taste
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| And so in time you reach your aim
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| And call him by his name
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| A cat’s entitled to expect
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| These evidences of respect
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| So this is this and that is that
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| And there’s how you ad-dress a cat
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| A cat’s entitled to expect these evidences of respect
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| So this is this and that is that
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| And there’s how you ad-dress a cat
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| Palash Desai |