Me and Earl was haulin' chickens
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On the flatbed out of Wiggins
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And we’d spent all night on the uphill side
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Of 37 miles of hell called Wolf Creek Pass
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Which is up on the Great Divide
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We was sittin' there suckin' toothpicks
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Drinkin' Nehis and onion soup mix
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And I says, «Earl, let’s mail a card to mother
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And then send them chickens on down the other side
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Yeah, let’s give 'em a ride»
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Wolf Creek Pass
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Way up on the Great Divide
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Truckin' on down the other side
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Well, Earl put down his bottle
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Mashed his foot down on the throttle
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And then a couple of boobs with a thousand cubes
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In a 1948 Peterbilt screamed to life
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We woke up the chickens
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We roared up off of that shoulder
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Spraying pine cones, rocks, and boulders
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And put four hundred head of them Rhode Island Reds
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And a couple of burnt-out roosters on the line
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Look out below 'cause here we go
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Wolf Creek Pass
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Way up on the Great Divide
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Truckin' on down the other side
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Well, we commenced to truckin'
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And them hens commenced to cluckin'
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And Earl took out a match and scratched his pants
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And lit up the unused half of a dollar cigar and took a puff
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Says, «My, ain’t this pretty up here»
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I says, «Earl, this hill can spill us
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You better slow down, you gon' kill us
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Just make one mistake and it’s the pearly gates
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For them 85 crates of USDA-approved cluckers
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You wanna hit second?»
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Wolf Creek Pass
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Way up on the Great Divide
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Truckin' on down the other side
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Well, Earl grabbed on the shifter
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And he stabbed 'er into fifth gear
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And then the chromium-plated
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Fully-illuminated genuine accessory shift knob
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Come right off in his hand
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I says, «You wanna screw that thing back on, Earl?»
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He was tryin' to thread it on there
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When the fire fell off of his cigar
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And dropped on down, sorta rolled around
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And then lit the cuff of Earl’s pants
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And burned a hole in his sock
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Yeah, sorta set him right on fire
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I looked on out of the window
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And I started countin' phone poles
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Going by at the rate of four to the seventh power
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Well, I put two and two together
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And added twelve and carried five
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Come up with twenty two thousand telephone poles an hour
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I looked at Earl and his eyes was wide
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His lip was curled and his leg was fried
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And his hand was froze to the wheel
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Like a tongue to a sled in the middle of a blizzard
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I says, «Earl, I’m not the type to complain
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But the time has come for me to explain
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That if you don’t apply some brake real soon
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They’re going to have to pick us up with a stick and a spoon»
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Well, Earl rared back, cocked his leg, stepped down as hard as he could on the
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brake
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And the pedal went clear to the floor and stayed right there on the floor
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He says it’s sorta like steppin' on a plum
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Well, from there on down it just wasn’t real pretty
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It was hairpin county and switchback city
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One of 'em looked like a can full of worms
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Another one looked like malaria germs
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Right in the middle of the whole damn show
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Was a real nice tunnel, now wouldn’t you know
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Sign says clearance to the twelve foot line
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But the chickens was stacked to thirteen nine
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Well, we shot that tunnel at a hundred and ten
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Like gas through a funnel and eggs through a hen
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We took that top row of chickens off slicker than the scum off a Louisiana swamp
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Went down and around, around and down
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And we run out of ground at the edge of town
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Bashed into the side of the feed store
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Downtown Pagosa Springs
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Wolf Creek Pass
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Way up on the Great Divide
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Truckin' on down the other side
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Wolf Creek Pass
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Way up on the Great Divide
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Truckin' on down the other side |