| Things have come to a pretty pass | 
| Our romance is growing flat | 
| For you like this and the other | 
| While I go for this and that | 
| Goodness knows what the end will be; | 
| Oh, I don’t know where I’m at… | 
| It looks as if we two will never be one | 
| Something must be done | 
| You say either and I say eyether | 
| You say neither and I say nyther; | 
| Either, eyether, neither, nyther | 
| Let’s call the whole thing off! | 
| You like potato and I like potatoe | 
| You like tomato and I like tomatoe; | 
| Potato, potatoe, tomato, tomatoe! | 
| Let’s call the whole thing off! | 
| But oh! | 
| If we call the whole thing off | 
| Then we must part | 
| And oh! | 
| If we ever part | 
| Then that might break my heart! | 
| So, if you like pyjamas and I like pyjahmas | 
| I’ll wear pyjamas and give up pyjahmas | 
| For we know we need each other | 
| So we better call the calling off off | 
| Let’s call the whole thing off! | 
| You say laughter and I say lawfter | 
| You say after and I say awfter; | 
| Laughter, lawfter, after, awfter | 
| Let’s call the whole thing off! | 
| You like vanilla and I like vanella | 
| You, say s’parilla and I say s’parella; | 
| Vanilla, vanella, chocolate, strawberry! | 
| Let’s call the whole thing off! | 
| But oh! | 
| If we call the whole thing off | 
| Then we must part | 
| And oh! | 
| If we ever part | 
| Then that might break my heart! | 
| So, if you go for oysters and I go for ersters | 
| I’ll order oysters and cancel the ersters | 
| For we know we need each other | 
| So we better call the calling off off! | 
| Let’s call the whole thing off! |