| If I had a million dollars
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| (If I had a million dollars)
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| Well, I’d buy you a house
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| (I would buy you a house)
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| And if I had a million dollars
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| (If I had a million dollars)
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| I’d buy you furniture for your house
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| (Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
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| And if I had a million dollars
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| (If I had a million dollars)
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| Well, I’d buy you a K-Car
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| (A nice reliant automobile)
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| And if I had a million dollars, I’d buy your love
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| If I had a million dollars
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| (I'd build a tree-fort in our yard)
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| If I had a million dollars
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| (You could help it wouldn’t be that hard)
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| If I had a million dollars
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| (Maybe we could put a little tiny fridge
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| In there somewhere)
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| We could just go up there and hang out
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| (Like open the fridge and stuff
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| And there’d all be foods laid out for us
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| Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things
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| They have pre-wrapped sausages
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| But they don’t have pre-wrapped bacon)
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| Well, can you blame them?
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| (Yeah!)
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| If I had a million dollars
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| (If I had a million dollars)
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| Well, I’d buy you a fur a coat
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| (But not a real fur coat, that’s cruel)
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| And if I had a million dollars
|
| (If I had a million dollars)
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| Well, I’d buy you an exotic pet
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| (Yep, like a llama or an emu)
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| And if I had a million dollars
|
| (If I had a million dollars)
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| Well, I’d buy you John Merrick’s remains
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| (Ooh all them crazy elephant bones)
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| And if I had a million dollars I’d buy your love
|
| If I had a million dollars
|
| (We wouldn’t have to walk to the store)
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| If I had a million dollars
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| (We'd take a Limousine 'cause it costs more)
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| If I had a million dollars
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| (We wouldn’t have to eat Kraft dinner)
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| But we would eat Kraft dinner
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| (Of course we would, we’d just eat more)
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| And buy really expensive ketchups with it
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| (That's right, all the fanciest — Dijon ketchups)
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| If I had a million dollars
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| (If I had a million dollars)
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| Well, I’d buy you a green dress
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| (But not a real green dress, that’s cruel)
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| And if I had a million dollars
|
| (If I had a million dollars)
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| Well, I’d buy you some art
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| (A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
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| If I had a million dollars
|
| (If I had a million dollars)
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| Well, I’d buy you a monkey
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| (Haven't you always wanted a monkey?)
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| If I had a million dollars, I’d buy your love
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| If I had a million dollars
|
| (If I had a million dollars)
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| If I had a million dollars
|
| (If I had a million dollars)
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| If I had a million dollars
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| I’d be rich |