| You can never see it |
| I keep it in a jar |
| You can not escape it |
| Not even in your car |
| It is not a mineral |
| Animal or plant |
| You will never find it |
| Don’t try because you can’t |
| Make it so it hurts your face and touch it |
| It burns out your eyes |
| Do not breathe around it |
| Sniffle, squeeze or cough |
| If you were to touch it |
| Your skin would sizzle off |
| Make it so it hurts and touch it |
| Spank it till it stinks and touch it baby… |
| It’s the mighty penus laser |
| The cause for every scream |
| It is better than anything you’ve got |
| Cause it’s made out of a laser beam (bum, bum, bum's) |
| Now is when the horror will be truely felt and |
| The sick smell of death will soon be smelt |
| It is a laser beam |
| It will never be seen |
| And it’s zit is far more flameable than gasoline |
| Make it so it hurts your face and touch it |
| Spank it til it stinks and touch it baby |
| It is incapable of reasoning |
| This is the partt where we sing… |
| It’s the Mighty Penus Laser |
| The cause for every scream |
| It is better then anything you’ve got |
| Cuz it’s made out of a laser beam |
| Mighty — Penus — Laser |