| Now I lay me down to learn |
| Which to read and which to burn |
| Pray the Lord my soul to turn |
| Over to the school board |
| Free to worship as I please |
| Long as it pleases the authorities |
| Hear me praying on my knees |
| My School Prayer |
| (spoken) |
| Once again, boys and girls, I’ll remind you that this activity is not mandatory, |
| and those of you who don’t believe in a Judeo-Christian God as defined by |
| Congress, should feel free to sit quietly with your fingers in your ears, |
| like the atheistic heathen you are. Agnostics may want to plug just one ear |
| (sung) |
| May my every sneeze be blessed |
| May I pass I urine test |
| May my mind be underestimated |
| And ignored, Lord |
| Keep my classroom safe and clean |
| Sanctify my M16 |
| Every morning 8:15 |
| It’s my School Prayer |
| God bless California, Arizona, North Dakota, Texas, Maine, New Hampshire, |
| Ohio and New York, of course |
| The forty-eight contiguous |
| And the two ambiguous |
| The greatest country God ever saved from the pagans |
| And while we’re at it, dear Lord, bless the Reagans |
| God is good and God is great |
| So we’d hate to separate |
| Church from state or ourselves from patriarchy |
| And theocracy |
| Peace on earth, Thy kingdom come |
| Into my curriculum |
| Make my head a hollow drum |
| Strike me dumb |
| Except to mumble |
| My School Prayer |