| Kristyn Osborn/Jason Deere) |
| Oh, the fire’s burning slow |
| Now where’s that mistletoe |
| Dear, it’s getting kind of hot in here |
| I need a taste of Christmas cheer |
| I hope he gets here quick, I need a St. Nick fix |
| Oooo-eee, I just want him to be all wrapped up for me |
| Santa’s never been this hard to resist |
| But Santa never used to look like this |
| He’s traded in his reindeer for a limosine |
| He’s wearing purple trousers instead of red and green |
| This Christmas I want something I never had |
| Cause Santa’s got a brand new bag |
| Now, I got to got to find out how |
| To make him want to settle down |
| I’ve got a big fat kiss right at the top of my list |
| So we can build a little candy home |
| And have a few elves of our own |
| I want to sneak a peek at my surprise |
| And see tradition metamorphasize |
| He’s given up the cookies and he’s slimming down |
| He bought a little bungalow in Tinsel Town |
| This Christmas I want something I never had |
| Cause Santa’s got a brand new bag |
| As he finds his Zen down on the kitchen floor |
| He lights a fat Cohiba from his humidor |
| This Christmas I want something I never had |
| Cause Santa’s got a brand new bag |
| He’s got a Richenbacher and he’s bleached his hair |
| He’s rockin to the rythm with a Latin flair |
| This Christmas I want something I’ve never had |